The Problem with Young Love

Falling in love young is both a beautiful and tragic thing. You fall quick, you fall strong. Yet you get blinded and lost at the same time.

My boyfriend and I became a couple a few weeks before my 18th birthday. We had messaged each other everyday for a few months before we met, then we got together a couple of weeks after we met. It was quick. We barely knew each other. We barely knew ourselves. All I remember is knowing that we would be together forever. That my times of being single were over.

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I didn’t know what it was like to be in a serious relationship. I didn’t know what type of girlfriend I was. So I experimented. I did things that I look back on now and cringe. Like declaring my love for him on a video and posting it on tumblr. Writing his mother a letter thanking her for raising him. Things that I guess are ‘cute’ but things that the current me would not do.

I did other things too. Trying to be something I was not. But yet, how could I have known it wasn’t me, when I had not known who ‘me’ was.

We never argued, and I didn’t like to show him when I was hurt. We weren’t real with each other. Tried to keep up this ‘perfect relationship’ when really we were both very lost and confused.

Until the day that we broke up. 1 year and 10 months into our relationship. As painful as that day was. It was the birth of my self awareness. When the bubble I had lived in had finally burst and I was set free. The real me. We spoke, and we understood each other.

Six days later we got back together. I cannot lie, even though I learned that those lovey dovey messages from him were not completely truthful, I still missed the cuteness that I thought we had. But now we have grown. We know who we are. No more trying to be a certain type of girlfriend. I am me. He is him.

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Here we are 5 years, 2 months and 26 days later. Our relationship has definitely evolved and strengthened. We are friends. Dare I say best friends. Who are in love. We have our days when we need our space. We do our own things. We help each other reach our goals.

See, falling in love young is a hard thing. Finding yourself when in a relationship with someone is difficult. But once you make it through that point. Once you realise who you are, and you love yourself. Your love for that person becomes real.

It’s more than flowers, love letters and cute texts. It’s about taking the other persons plate to the kitchen and washing it.

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Photographs taken by @PatieCakes

 

One thought on “The Problem with Young Love

  1. Tremaine KR says:

    This was a great read Aida. Just like you, I entered into my first relationship when I was 17 – he was my first boyfriend. I too thought I had to put on a facade, a front even to be this perfect girlfriend. I wasn’t myself. He didn’t get to experience my wonderful personality *flips hair*, my dry or comically c*ntish personality. He didn’t get to experience me fully.

    We broke up after five years and a child together. Being inauthentic wasn’t the main reason but being inauthentic led to other issues (on both sides). He is still very much a part of our family so he gets to experience my personality in a different sense.

    Now aged 30 – I am fully aware of who I am (fully aware that I may change/evolve/grow etc as well). I know what I want. I know who I want. I know they need to accept me. I need to be able to be able to act like a claffy around you, send you messages laced with innuendos, tell you that I feel like the world is crashing in on me. I need to be me fully with who I am with and will never mould myself into something other than me ever again.

    May you guys have a very happy relationship. ❀

    Like

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